After being inspired by Prof. Dave Drake, one of the best thinkers in Narrative Coaching, I would like to share with you how old patterns of actions and interactions may impede your potential as professionals, parents, friends, human beings.
My goal is to give you a new perspective in order to strengthen your need for change and get rid of old stories that don’t serve you anymore. Thus, find a new, more rewarding and fulfilling work, promote yourself, inspire your team, take a challenging decision, be more successful.
So let’s start!
We all know how difficult it is to change our own behavior even if it doesn’t help us achieve our new goals anymore.
The power of our habits is stronger than our willingness to adopt a new…habit. According to Antony Robbins, one of the best authors and speakers about life changing issues, this happens because we have an old reference (experience, knowledge or believe) on which we base our old behavior.
From this reference, some feelings emerge. These are feelings of pleasure or pain that are memorized and guide our mind to take this or that decision.
I am giving you an example. We need to stop smoking but we have combined smoking with a source of pleasure. Stop smoking automatically equals with stop feeling this pleasure.
We are born to avoid pain and embrace pleasure with a priority the avoidance of pain. These feelings direct any decision we take.
According to Dave Drake, we decide in the specific sequence below.
We have had an experience (pain or pleasure) that gives us a story. This story identifies our behavior (actions) and this behavior leads to a particular result (outcome).
I can say that, the above sequence is the “itinerary of a habit” we exercise from the source up to the outcome we earn.
In order to move forward our lives we need to change any habit that leads to outcomes that do not serve us anymore.
How?? Rewind our story.
This is simple. We just have to follow the opposite itinerary.
We decide what outcome (result) we wish for and we find out the proper behavior in order to gain this result.
So, we need to shift the way we see ourselves and practice the new behavior.
Moreover, you create a new story that justifies this new behavior. This story you tell yourself inspires you and leads you to a new experience.
In conclusion, in order to change our lives we need to rewind, to find out, create or rewrite a new story that is stronger that the old one.
A story that strengthens our decision towards a new behavior based on a new experience of feelings based on pleasure and not on avoidance of pain.
We will become our inner “story –tellers”.
I invite you to experiment a new story for yourself so as to achieve your goals, gain a more rewarding and fulfilling work, promote yourself, inspire your team or take a challenging decision.
I can inspire you and support your ongoing development in this “inner-itinerary” towards a new prominent habit that will lead you to a more authentic life.
Don’t hesitate to call me +30 6937 444118 +30210 8160255 or mail me firstname.lastname@example.org.
Barbara Asimakopoulou, PCC
ICF and Marshall Goldsmith Leadership Coach